Stupid Muggle Invetions
by Castor49
Summary: Just a stupid, humors dialog. That's keeps getting longer. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story does not have any plot what so ever. I came up with it in an atempt to keep my self entertaind while walking my dogs. The wather outside is horible with temperatures onder or much under normal. I mean it's August and 12! degrees celsius. I may come up with more of these storise unless the tempeature goes up soon. and you know the disclaimer is the same as always.

* * *

"This is stupid Harry. I'm not getting on that thing."

"Of course you are."

"No, and especially not now. We're already two hours delayed."

"They said the problem was fixed."

"I'm not getting on. I'm gonna go and ask for my money back and then we can take a portkey or floopowder or even a broom if you want to fly, but I'm not getting on that-thing."

"Flight 956 to New York now boarding."

"That's us, we have to get going, honey."

"I will not get on to an airplane, and don't honey me."

"You know the statistics…"

"I bloody don't care about the bloody statistics, Harry. Do you know it is a chunk of metal we will be going in thousands of feet in the air, it's bloody insane."

"Come on Draco, it won't be that bad. And if you want me to I'm sure I could get Hermione on the phone for you to explain exactly how an airplane is capable of flying."

"I don't want to talk to Granger and how do you know it won't be that bad, you've never been on an airplane before."

"Exactly, I want to do this, and I want you to do it with me. Please?"

"Passenger on fight 956 may board now."

"Come on now honey, let's go."

"…"

"Welcome, may I see your boarding passes."

"Draco where is your boarding pass?"

"…"

"Thank you, enjoy your flight."

"We will."

"If we crash I'm gonna kill you."

"Chances are that if we crash I will be dead anyway."

"I'm so gonna kill you for this."

"I know honey, I know."


	2. Chapter 2

"Whaaaa!"

"Harry."

"Yes honey?"

"Why are we doing this?"

"Because I wanted to and you love me."

"I'm not so sure about that last part at the moment if that baby doesn't shut up soon, I will not be held accountable for my actions."

"You will not be hurting the baby honey."

"I will, and don't call me honey. I'm not a girl you know."

"Oh, I know."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Yes please a coke and. What do you want Draco?"

"Anything, doesn't matter."

"Two cokes, please."

"Here you go sir."

"Thank you."

"Ugh, this is disgusting. What is it?"

"Coke."

"I got that part, but what exactly is it?"

"I- I really don't know. It's just coke."

"Well I don't like it."

"Then don't drink it."

"I won't."

"Fine."

"Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you like the pasta or the beef?"

"Beef, please."

"And what would you like?"

"He'll take the pasta."

"You know I can talk for myself, Harry."

"No you can't. Not without being rude."

"That is not true."

"…"

"Shut up."

"I wasn't saying anything."

"But you were thinking it."

"That can hardly count."

"It so can."

"Can't."

"Can."

"Shut up and eat your food."

"Harry?"

"Yes honey."

"What is this?"

"Pasta."

"I know what pasta looks like. This is slime in a plastic box. I refuse to eat it, and don't call me honey."

"You'll get hungry."

"I'm already hungry."

"Then eat."

"No!"

"Suit yourself.

"Harry."

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

"You should have eaten when you had the food."

"I didn't want to."

"Draco you're not five and I'm not your father…"

"Thank god for that, that would have been so wrong on so many levels."

"I will not force you to eat."

"But I'm hungry."

"Draco shut up and go to sleep."

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

"Harry."

"Yes honey."

"How long have we been sitting here?"

"Almost four hours."

"Are we there soon?"

"We've come about halfway."

"HALFWAY!"

"Keep it down."

"How can we only been halfway we've been here for ages."

"I told you the flight would take almost eight hours."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"I knew I never should have gotten on the plane. Had we taken a portkey we would have been there now."

"Why not take a flying carpet instead, and keep it down."

"Flying carpets have been illegal for years."

"They have?"

"Seriously Harry, everybody knows that."

"Whatever, we still have four more hours to go."

"I'm so going to die, from boredom and starvation. I'm so gonna kill you for this."

"Yes honey."

"And don't call me honey."


	5. Chapter 5

"Harry."

"Yes, Draco?"

"Where are we going?"

"To our hotel."

"And how are we getting there?"

"A taxi."

"Do we have to, I mean isn't there another way. A normal way."

"No. It's a muggle hotel and we will be getting there the muggle way."

"…"

"Hi, we want to get to-, wait I have a note here somewhere-here. We want to get to this hotel."

"No problem, get in."

"How far is it?"

"Not far, but it's rush hour. You never know how long it will take to get somewhere in this traffic."

"Harry."

"Yes honey."

"Are we there yet?"

"Doesn't look like it, does it?"

"And for the thousands time don't call me honey."

"Harry."

"Hmm."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Harry."

"Draco, Shut up."


	6. Chapter 6

"Harry."

"No."

"But, Har.."

"I said, No."

"You don't even know what I wanted."

"I _don't_ _care."_

"…"

"I'm sorry."

"…"

"Honey."

"Don't. Call. Me. That."

"Sugar?"

"No."

"Darling?"

"No."

"Honey Bun."

"No!"

"Love, pumpkin, angel…"

"What's so wrong with Draco?!"

"That's no fun."

"But it is my name."

"So, _Draco, _what was it you wanted?"

"The bed is hard and it smells funny in here."

"Just go to sleep, _Honey."_


	7. Chapter 7

sorry for the repost of the chapter, I've fixed it now

* * *

"That is never going to work Harry."

"Of course it will work. You just have to have a bit more faith in muggle inventions."

"The day I have faith in anything muggles have done is the day the moon turns green."

"Why green?"

"What?"

"Why not until the moon turns pink, or red?"

"I don't-because it's Slytherins color!"

"So you could say until the moon turns silver then?"

"Harry, will you shut up about the colors of the bloody moon!"

Pjong!

"What the hell was that?!"

"It was our toast popping out of the toaster, honey. I told you it would work."

"Ouch, it's hot."

"That is the point of the toaster."

"Well couldn't you have warned me first?"

"Sorry honey."

"And don't honey me, _honey._"

"Do you want marmalade on your toast?"

"Yes please."

"…"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're just so adorably cute when you're polite."

"I'm a Malfoy. Malfoys are never, ever under any circumstances cute."

"Oh, but I think you are cute very often honey."

"I am not…"

"Just eat your toast like good boy."

"Mmph."


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you sure that thing will work?"

"Yes Draco. It works for everybody else and I'm sure it'll work for you."

"But how does it work?"

"I'll show you."

"…"

"…"

"Now what?"

"Now you wait."

"Wait? For how long?"

"Till it's done."

"And how long will that be?"

"Not long at all."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"It's been a very long time now."

"It's been thirty seconds honey, you'll live."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"…"

"Ouch!"

"What you do that for?"

"I wanted to see if it was finished."

"You don't touch it Draco. It's hot."

"Don't you think I noticed that?!"

_Ding _

"It's finished now."

"I don't want any bloody toast anymore you can have it."


	9. Chapter 9

"Harry?"

"What?"

"What are we doing?"

"Sightseeing."

"Is this a sight to be seen?"

"No, but we have to get to what we want to see."

"There has to be a better way thought."

"This way is just fine."

"No it's not. It's crowded and sweaty and…"

"Draco."

"What?"

"Stop complaining."

"I'm not complaining I'm only stating the facts."

"No honey. You're complaining."

"Don't call me that."

"What honey?"

"That."

"That what – honey?"

"Harry! Stop that now or I'll never sleep with you again."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Subways suck."

"It's part of the experience."

"The experience suck."

"Be quiet Draco."

* * *

This little quote thingy is from a sight called tjuvlyssnat.se, basically tjuvlyssnat means eavesdropped. I just thought it was so funny I had to try and do a translation and post it somewhere, and why not here. Anyway I left the Swedish version as well if someone who speaks Swedish, or maybe even Norwegian of Danish reads this.

* * *

"Och man blir inte mer gay än så!" 

Gröna linjen mot Hagsätra

_Två fjortiskillar sitter och snackar om skolan._

Kille 1: Och så har det börjat en bög i klassen.

Kille 2: Aa just det, jag hörde nåt om det… Hur är han?

Kille 1: Fett skum och så.. går omkring och typ.. läser böcker och sånt!

* * *

"And you don't get more gay than that!" 

Stockholm underground

_Two boys, younger teenagers, are talking about school._

Boy 1: And there has started a gay guy in the class.

Boy 2: Yeah right, I heard something about that… What's he like?

Boy 1: Weird… he walks around and like… reads books and stuff!


End file.
